If I had no fucks to give, I'd...
Recently I realized how much energy I was using on censoring myself & calculating what I should say to whom.
When I brought this into my awareness, I began to notice the moments when my brain was running the question:
"Can this person accept all of me?"
Which then threw me into a loop of "Who am I?" to decide who is capable or incapable of receiving all of me.
Yes–there are certain situations where we must keep our true self protected, because, well, people suck.
The moments I'm referring to though, are situations where there is no actual evidence that if I showed my true self I'd be placed in harm.
My brain, of course, thinks differently & each of these situations are considered life or death:
"If you wear that, you will be mocked."
"If you say what's really on your mind, people will think you're crazy."
“If you talk about that in your weekly newsletter, PEOPLE WILL KNOW YOU'RE CRAZY."
Oof. That’s a lot of energy.
Thank you, Brain, but I'm gonna be ok.
I'd rather use all that energy swimming snowmelt rivers & engaging in deep conversation with my community thankyouverymuch.
So to train my dear brain that I won't be swallowed up by the planet if I show my true self, I'm tracking when good things happen as a result of me being Authentic Me.
Data over drama works every time. (Thanks, Chris.)
Since May I've kept a Google doc titled, "Things to Remember."
This doc is a collection of things people have said either in-person or via email; moments when I show up as my true self & I received positive feedback.
As a practice, I review this doc each week.
When I forget, I feel the difference.
We all need support in this wild world.
What about YOU?
How's your brain getting in the way?
I invite you to set a timer for 3 minutes & write, using 1 of the below journaling prompts:
If I had no fucks to give, I'd...
-or-
If fear wasn't driving the car of my life, I'd…
If you can't think of anything to write, repeat the journal prompt until something else flows from your pen.
