Co-Creating a Braver Space
To participate in my rituals, circles, & group coaching experiences, we collectively agree to practice co-creating a Braver Space.
I believe a Braver Space is an intentional container where we speak our truth, live our truth, & be our truth, while at the same time explore when our truth is a belief ready to be unlearned.
I don't recall where or from whom I first discovered the intention of cultivating a “braver space” – I just know when I first heard it, things clicked.
A braver space encourages brave conversations.
Noticing thoughts as they unfold
Speaking to what's uncomfortable
Remembering that we are all in this together
I used to strive to create a container of "safe space."
Then I learned about "safer spaces" & I worked toward that.
Then I (un)learned that no matter what, I cannot claim to create a "safe" or "safer" group space. It's just literally not possible.
We all are experiencing various levels of trauma at all times.
We are not all having the same experience. (h/t Rachael Rice)
Toward the end of the book, White Fragility: Why It's So Hard for White People to Talk About Racism, Robin DiAngelo discusses group agreements & the difference between truth & beliefs:
“Given that the goal of antiracist work is to identify and challenge racism and the misinformation that supports it, all perspectives are not equally valid; some are rooted in racist ideology and need to be uncovered and challenged.
We must distinguish between sharing your beliefs so that we can identify how they may be upholding racism and stating your beliefs as "truths" that cannot be challenged.”
A braver space asks that we are critical of our "truths" & be open to exploring when our truth is actually a belief ready to evolve.
When we agree to co-create a braver space, we acknowledge that we all have different lived experience & we all carry different wisdom.
We are all students AND we are all teachers.
My facilitation training & experience has uncovered the 2 main shared values, Consent & Trust, that are required to co-create Braver Space.
This has resulted in the development of my Braver Space Agreement:
Consent
We ask before we give. “Can I ask you a question about that?”
Our space is for developing intuitive wisdom, instead of advice-giving. Most of us love giving advice; most of us despise receiving advice.
We also ask for what we need. For example:
“I need to be seen & heard.”
“I need to be quiet & not share.”
Consent is on-going & can change moment to moment. Your consent request can transform as your needs, wants, & desires transform.
Trust
We trust in the confidential sacred experience. Share your personal discoveries; leave everything else within the group.
We trust our ability to discern when to speak & when to listen. Play around & bravely try something different:
What happens when I take 3 deep breaths before I share?
What happens if I share as soon as I get the intuitive hit?
We trust each other to nourish Self, whether that be taking a stretch break or expressing if/when harm has occurred. Especially if harm has occurred by something I share or do.
We gather in an intentional CIRCLE to break hierarchy & dismantle the teacher-upon-a-pedestal belief system.
Your Turn
Whether you are currently facilitating a group experience, or you are participating in a group, or you are in relationship with others (all of us can cultivate a braver space right now), I invite you to explore the below questions:
What do I need to personally ask of myself so I can show up as a braver ME?
What do I need to ask of those around me so I can show up as a braver ME?
May this braver space encourage you to unlearn the beliefs that no longer serve & cultivate the beliefs that nourish you.
So it is!
